Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close

Attachment theory, a psychological model that describes the dynamics of long-term interpersonal relationships, was initially developed by John Bowlby in the late 1950s and early 1960s. It seeks to understand how people respond in relationships when they are hurt, separated from loved ones, or perceive a threat. Focusing on the bond between infants and their primary caregivers, Bowlby suggested that early attachment experiences shape the individual’s feelings, thoughts, and expectations in later relationships throughout life. This foundational concept has since been expanded to encompass adult relationships, including friendships, romantic partnerships, and even professional connections.

Central to attachment theory is the classification of attachment styles, originally observed in children by developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth in the 1970s. Ainsworth’s “Strange Situation” study identified three main attachment styles: secure, anxious, and avoidant. Securely attached individuals typically had caregivers who were consistently responsive to their needs, leading to adults who are comfortable with intimacy and independence in relationships. Anxiously attached individuals often experienced inconsistent caregiving and tend to fear abandonment and exhibit clingy behavior in adult relationships. Avoidantly attached individuals, having encountered regular rejection or emotional unavailability from caregivers, might struggle with closeness and dependability, often valuing independence over relational intimacy.