Eating Together

Lee has claimed that he uses poetry to help him sort through his memories. Lee revered his parents, and this biographical lens explains some of the content of “Eating Together”—the portrayal of a seemingly typical lunch for the family that turns out to be in the middle of mourning the patriarch. This revelation explains the family dynamic that the poem examines: The mother will now get to eat the head of the trout—“the sweetest meat” (Line 6)—something that the father used to do “deftly” (Line 8) before he died. The implication is clear: Before the father died, he led the family, but now the mother will do so. Importantly, the siblings accept the mother’s new position without question; the poem is not an exploration of power imbalance. Instead, Lee traces the way the living parent remains at the top of the family’s hierarchy, smoothly slipping into the father’s old place even as the family mourns the death that necessitated the transition. This positive portrayal reflects Lee’s relationship with his own parents, who encouraged him and his siblings to create art and ask questions, bonding over painting and music.

The death of the speaker's father in the poem relates to the death of Lee’s father, who had diabetes; Lee and his mother were his primary caretakers until he died in 1980.