Iona Iverson's Rules for Commuting

08:05 Hampton Court to Waterloo

Emmie sits next to Iona on the train and Iona shares mail. She has “discovered that everyone was fascinated by other people’s problems” (64). One letter is from a worried mother who found her teenaged son watching porn. Iona says she will write back about parental controls and online security. Emmie replies that every child knows how to get around parental controls and the mother could see this as an opportunity to talk with her son about how pornography isn’t real and actual sex, and actual girls, are much different.

Iona agrees, giving a short speech about pubic hair, and Emmie reminds her that everyone is listening. Iona says, “They’re all too busy with their newspapers and iPhones and stuff to listen in to our little conversation” (66). Iona reveals that she lives in East Molesey, and Emmie says she has never been to the hedge maze at Hampton Court Palace. Iona invites her to visit it that Sunday with her. Emmie shows Iona a picture of a TikTok sensation, Fizz, reading Iona’s magazine in the bath. Fizz is a friend and Emmie offers to put Iona in touch with her.