Love, Hate and Other Filters

Maya loves to shoot film with her camcorder. She often imagines scenes from her life as a movie, such as when she decides to continue swimming lessons with Phil: “I allow myself to be the character in the romantic movie” (87). Sometimes she imagines particular film shot: “My mind plays a slow-motion close-up of Phil walking down the hall. […] Low key lighting casts intriguing shadows on the wall” (26). After Brian hurts her in the amusement park, she describes her mind as a movie camera: “The frames in my mind fast-forward, rewind, fast-forward without pause, and it’s all out of focus” (209). For Maya, filming is what she does—and it’s also a central metaphor for her life. The camera gives her control. “Movies are the only magic I can make,” she tells Phil (101). She often likes to film in settings where she feels awkward, such as weddings or on dates. The camera gives her a sense of protection, purpose, and agency.

After Asif and Sofia disown Maya, she realizes that she is scared: “No camera. No filter. Just my life, totally unscripted” (251). Maya does not record her nontraditional prom with Phil.