Modern Romance

In this chapter, Ansari explores how different cultures approach dating.

Tokyo: The Land of Herbivores and Tengas

When Ansari first goes to Tokyo, he thinks it would have a rich dating culture because of the city’s exciting environment: There’s always something to do. However, after interviewing singles he quickly realizes that’s not the case. According to a 2013 survey, nearly half of young women and a quarter of young men aren’t interested in having sex; many young people have never dated; and Japan’s birthrate is declining. Due to these statistics, the Japanese government is giving out incentives for people to get married and have children.

The History and Current State of Marriage in Tokyo

Marriages used to be arranged in Japan, or people would find their future spouse in the workplace; but neither of these scenarios happens anymore. Due to the declining Japanese economy, “the modern workplace has become a site for stressful competition. It’s no longer a de facto singles bar for professionals” (157).

Herbivore Men

“Herbivore man” is a culturally specific term used to describe Japanese men who “are very shy and passive and show no interest in sex and romantic relationships” (157). Ansari interviewed many men who would be considered herbivores, and they said that they were interested in women but that they didn’t have time to date.