On Call: A Doctor's Journey in Public Service

In his memoir, Fauci depicts the psychological toll that balancing compassion and professionalism demands from a physician. Through personal stories, Fauci recounts his challenges and emotions as he navigated the difficult task of treating patients and facing their prognoses. The theme illustrates a fundamental tension for medical practitioners: the conflict between empathy and the need to detach enough to remain effective. Fauci’s experiences exemplify how, for doctors, composure is both a necessary strength and a significant challenge, particularly in cases involving severe or terminal illnesses.

Fauci highlights his struggle with emotional composure in his account of his mother’s illness and eventual passing. As he narrates: “I felt numb, but for the first time I was thinking about my mother both as a son and as a physician. What next?” (27). Here, Fauci’s roles as a son and a doctor merge painfully, forcing him to confront the element of helplessness inherent to medicine as a profession, even for those trained to heal. Fauci notes the complexity of the situation—even as he copes with the personal grief of his mother’s terminal cancer, he simultaneously faces the professional frustration of recognizing that his medical expertise cannot prevent her death. The internal divide between his son’s grief and physician’s responsibility underscores how doctors must often compartmentalize to retain composure, even when treating their own family members.