Part of Your World

Content Warning: This section features discussions of emotional abuse.

“You don’t know what it’s like, Derek—the way Neil chips away at me. He’ll start to gaslight me, make me feel like I deserved what he did, and I’ll get so confused and broken down and tired that I’ll let him back in out of sheer exhaustion. I have to leave, Derek. I don’t have any other way to protect myself.”

Alexis tells this to Derek after she learns that she must uphold the Montgomery legacy and continue working with Neil. This quote illustrates her increased understanding of how much Neil has impacted her thoughts and behaviors and shows that his abuse is self-perpetuating, as he has used it to weaken her defenses. It is a rare moment of her voicing dissent with the master plan laid out by her parents (including her relationship with Neil), albeit only in front of her brother.

“I stopped what I was doing. ‘Okay. We need to clear something up,’ I said, looking her in the eye. ‘When you come down—no matter what you come down for—I’m going to make a big deal over it. Because it is a big deal. You’re driving four hours, round-trip, to be here. That’s not nothing.’”

Daniel tells this to Alexis when she complains about him putting too much effort into one of their dates after they have agreed that their relationship cannot be serious. Alexis’s complaint and Daniel’s response to it highlight how differently they view relationships, as Daniel wants to get the most out of the relationship even knowing it will end soon, while Alexis only focuses on what they should do in their time together. This exchange foreshadows the ways in which both characters will treat their relationship throughout the novel.

“It was like he liked me on eggshells. Like as long as I was running after him, begging him to tell me what was wrong, what I could do better, he was happy.”

Alexis thinks this about Neil as she is opening up to Jessica about her abuse. It shows how much control Neil had over Alexis during their relationship and how he framed problems so that she always thought they were her fault.