Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges

“In Yiddish it’s trepverter. Germans call it treppenwitz. It’s been called elevator wit, which has a sentimental resonance for me. My personal favorite is afterwit. But the idea is the same—it’s the incisive remark you come up with too late. It’s the hindered comeback. The orphaned retort. And it carries with it a sense of regret, disappointment, humiliation. We all want a do-over. But we’ll never get one.”

Cuddy explains her personal experience with an elevator pitch gone wrong, in which she forgot the salient points to her current research when having a chance to share them with important people in her field. Later, she remembered her pitch perfectly when it was too late. The frustration of not being able to represent herself well in the moment—when it all counts—illustrates the importance of presence. If she had employed the techniques she describes later in the book, she would not have had so disastrous an outcome and represented herself in a way of which she could have been proud. She provides an enticement for readers to find out how to have a different outcome in similar situations. Cuddy uses short, declarative sentences to emphasize her point: “We all want a do-over. But we’ll never get one.”

“Can this kind of presence help you become more successful in the traditional sense? Quite possibly. But what matters more is that it will allow you to approach stressful situations without anxiety, fear, and dread, and leave them without regret, doubt, and frustration. Instead, you will go forth with the knowledge that you did everything you could do. That you accurately and fully represented yourself and your abilities. That you showed them who you really are. That you showed yourself who you really are.”

Cuddy emphasizes that the actual outcome of a situation is less important than the experience of feeling like you have represented yourself in the way that best displays your talents and capabilities. When you leave the room, you can feel confident that you have done your best, and that you did not let anxiety or fear prevent you from being successful.