Stupid Fast

“I am not stupid funny. I am stupid fast.”

Felton defines himself by his newly acquired skill: speed. He uses the word “stupid” to mean a level even faster than fast. Felton’s reference to his lack of comedic skill refers to his thwarted desire to be a stand-up comic, and comedy informs the novel’s theme of self-discovery. Felton makes these two declarations confidently from a point in the future, when he has developed a stronger sense of self-knowledge—something he discovers over the course of his story.

“You can’t burn memories, Jerri. I guess you know that now.”

Felton recognizes what Jerri, after she burned the possessions and mementos of her late husband, does not: One cannot erase one’s past by destroying physical objects. Memories, good and bad, remain in the mind. They can be repressed, but unless addressed, they can still cause emotional problems.

“Have you ever noticed you can’t get away from yourself?”

When he sees Aleah for the first time, Felton wishes he could escape the critical voice in his head and wishes that he were not as socially inept as he feels. Felton is highly self-critical and suffers from anxiety and low self-esteem, feelings that gradually change as he constructs his sense of self and gains confidence.