The Sound of Gravel: A Memoir

Content Warning: This section contains descriptions of child sexual abuse and neglect, domestic violence, graphically depicted deaths, and religious abuse and trauma.

“She said that even though it was hard to share her husband with her sister wives, even though she sometimes felt jealous, she knew in her heart that she was obeying God’s will by living polygamy.”

Describing the mentality that nearly destroyed her family, Ruth recalls a moment in church when a sister wife proclaimed her pride in her devotion to God. The Flaws and Dangers of Fundamentalism becomes evident as a theme as Ruth’s own mother exemplifies how families can become entrenched in dangerous ways of living in their false belief that doing so is something to celebrate.

“The rest of us followed silently, watching and listening as Mom took a wide step over the highway shoulder and onto the dirt road, the gravel crunching beneath her footsteps, the sound of home.”

Sound is an important motif in Ruth’s memoir, and the sound of gravel represents where she was raised. Hearing this sound meant that she was back in LeBaron, back to an unpredictable life that demanded strength, underscoring the theme of Courage and Resilience in the Face of Adversity.

“It represented a core belief of theirs: we should be grateful for every little thing God had given us.”

Kathy and Lane often preached their belief in gratitude no matter what circumstances a person was living in. This provided their excuse and their shield from the guilt that would otherwise have overwhelmed them had they truly considered the situation in which they were raising children. The Consequences of Childhood Neglect is thematically evident in how it took years for Ruth to realize that her living situation was not normal or right.