Two or Three Things I Know for Sure

Allison states that her stepfather raped her when she was five. She then presents a spread of photographs of herself and her sisters taken from 1954 to 1963. They’re smiling in all the photos, but these were punishing years. In telling the story about her stepfather raping her, she notes that she has worked hard to be able to tell it in a straightforward, calm way but that the story is painful. Her mother believed Allison when she told her about the abuse, but some of her aunts still don’t believe it, and the abuse apparently recurred even after her disclosure. Allison found telling her story healing, however, and being able to name what her stepfather did—and his denial—as evil were a key part of her healing.

People often offer explanations and excuses, but these excuses have nothing to do with Allison and even less to do with sexual violence. Allison remembers a therapist—a person who supposedly supported women’s liberation—warning her that telling her story might lead people to think that having a violent father and surviving rape lead to one’s becoming a lesbian woman. Allison rejected this theory and pointed out the contradiction in it: If this were really true, a society invested in crushing lesbian women would put a stop to such violence.