Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots

On her 24th birthday, the narrator Deborah is meeting her mother for lunch in Manhattan. Deborah shares a major similarity with her mother: they both left the Satmar Hasidic Jewish community to start new lives. However, unlike what her mother did to her, Deborah did not leave her child behind.

Deborah’s mother, Rachel, is from a German non-Hasidic community in England. The prospect of marrying Deborah’s father was “like a dream” (13) since he was from a wealthy family in America that was desperate to find a wife for their son. Deborah interviews Rachel about her early days in her marriage, which she says were overall positive experiences. This directly contrasts with Deborah’s memories of her father, aunts, and uncles. Deborah says that she believes her father had a low IQ, while Rachel notes that his behavior was most likely due to a personality disorder. Over time, the family began to ignore Rachel, and except for her mother-in-law, she felt like an outsider. Deborah agrees with her mother’s reflections, noting, “You leave when there’s nothing left to stay for; you go where you can be useful, where people accept you” (15). Rachel maintains that she wanted to take Deborah with her when she left but had to leave her because she had no money.